Have a new perspective: You can handle it!

God says in scripture, “weapons may be formed against us, but they will not prosper.

I am not sure why life hits us so hard. I am unsure why there are diseases, corruption, mass shootings, cancer, or death. Nor do I have the answer for it. I believe in a higher power who has the answer but will not always give it until we go through the trial and gain a new perspective.

I genuinely believe every trial and circumstance is meant to build us if we allow it. We can sit on the sidelines, have pity, become overwhelmed with anxiety or depression, or make a conscious decision that “I’m going to look at this differently and glean what I can and move onto my next assignment.

No devil in hell can stop you from reaching your true potential, not poverty, not illness, not disability or circumstances. You can only stop yourself! We are our own worst enemy and that saying is true.

I was recently fired from a job I loved working with adults with autism, intellectual disabilities, and developmental disabilities who live with co-existing medical and mental illnesses. I worked hard and followed the books. Two weeks before my probation was over, I was let go with the explanation that “I wasn’t a good fit.” I was depressed initially and stopped working out and eating. Then I listened to a sermon and some worship music and realized my job isn’t the source of my identity, nor is it responsible for my happiness. I am, and God alone is. I felt free.

I also realized there will be other jobs, and my career will continue. My destiny is not over. I am not less of a man, less anointed, less valuable, or unworthy. I am a child of God, his prize possession, the apple of his eye, and he loves me and has a great future planned for me. With more bumps and pit stops ahead. It’s important to remember that it’s a “pit stop and not a pitfall.” I had every right to feel every emotion I was feeling, but that didn’t give me the ok to stop living and have a pity party. If I can survive foster care, survive and live with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety, be in my first year of an MSW program, and overcome homelessness, I can overcome losing a job. God has gotten me through all that, and I learned so much from this job, about the population I like to work with, the hours I work better at, I gained my CPR/First Aid certification, and learned how to work while living with a mental illness. I gained so much. I’m grateful to God for this experience. If I could do it all over again, I would. I’m not bitter or angry. Nor am I sad. I am at peace with my creator, knowing he is in control and has crowned my life with favor, and my life will go on.

As will yours! You’re going to make it. Keep dreaming. No dream is too big for the creator to make come true. No goal is out of reach. Nothing is limiting you.

Have a new perspective: With God, you can, and you will handle this!

Domenia

Letter to a Mother

A Letter to a mother:

When I first met you, you were the woman of my dreams. No one was better and I was proud to be your daughter. I was proud to tell the world “this is my mom.” Now I see a woman who has given up, allowed herself to be defeated by choices, never forgiven others who hurt you or for the hurt you caused. You’ve developed a mental illness, that when I look into your eyes and to see your soul, I can’t get past the pain, I hope to see life, but I see an empty soul, in a body that is content with just existing. That’s not the woman who I knew from the beginning. Where is my mom at? You’re still there, I know there is still good and possibility but you live dying.

I’ll never forget the words “I don’t know how to love you, and you no longer have to call me mom.” It was a relief because I knew the truth but a bullet that pierced my heart and it hasn’t healed. I thought that if I lived a life of excellence, a life of hard working, diligent in my studies and dedicated to God; you might change? It was then I realized it’s not my job to change you. You have to be able to see that there is more that God has intended for your life, and this is not the end.

My 24^th My birthday was a trying one, it hurt not being able to talk to the woman (who can’t love me), birth me and my sacred twin brother who has threatened to do harm to me. How does one reconcile and accept that the family you were birthed into, are the ones that will hurt you, allow you to be hurt, and threaten your very existence. However, God has taught me, blessed me, given me many mother figures, I have brothers and sisters, I’ve just met my biological father, and in yet there is a void. This void is one that I have come to accept, but tears stream down my eyes.

I wrote my brother an email and stated that it hurt for me to be a part from my twin. It hurt not being able to give a gift, hug, or kiss the very soul that I shared room with in the womb for 9 months. I had to change my telephone number and was told not to even give it to my grandmother or family because of the actions and words of hate, anger and envy from you two.

God knows my heart when I say that I want nothing more for yo, then to succeed. Find happiness, passion and live a life of purpose. Who wants to allow hate and strife to take up space in your heart or your mind. I know I won’t. It’s best for us to be a part. It’s when we’re are a part we’re the closet. When I don’t hear news about you is when I can rest at night. No news is good news. I have taken authority over my life, and as young adult I refuse to allow you to make me depressed, alter my state of mind, control me, make me feel unsafe, install fear and allow you to habitually hurt me. It’s a choice I’ve made based on history, words and actions you’ve declared.

So my message to my fellow readers is, to know that sometimes you have to step aside if it means it will be creating a better you. Sometimes you have cease communication not forever, but for the moment so that you will prosper. It’s not a negative self aspect to finally put yourself first. It’s not that you think you’re better then whomever it is, it’s just your path has taken a different course, and/or that season has ended. Not every relationship, job anything is meant forever. There is an end and how that happens is what creates curiosity in our creator.

Read this and know I don’t want sympathy but my goal is to encourage your hearts and to tell you, that it’s time to start living for yourself.

Domenia Dickey

Your Journey!

I will say this until the day I die: “We (you) do not live our lives just for us. “ When you find who you are, your calling, gift, talent and truth, master it. Master it so that you can give it back to the universe and help heal and help another individual. :We are spiritual beings having a humanistic experience.” -Pastor Paula White Who you are is already inside of you. We just fail at listening and being in tune with our individuality.

Sometimes you have to put the needs of others and your jobs on the counter and spend time with YOURSELF and listen your spirit is connected to a powerful energy source (God) who has something to say. There is an answer for your questions and a pathway to discover who you are, and your destiny.

Don’t live based on what others say you are. STOP listening to what people think about you especially those who don’t know who you are or you’re true potential. You have gifts and talents that you are not aware of. You are more than the job you have, you are more than the money in your bank account, and you are more than your education.  We are spiritual beings having a humanistic experience.

Before we can help others, we, have to want help ourselves grow and change; end excuses and stop blaming others for what we do and who we are. I was raped; abused, neglected, homeless had nothing. I remember not having a coat for winter in foster care and not a family member to reach out to but I don’t allow my story to be my hindrance.  I am 23 in college creating a better me, so that I can help another young girl in foster care and youth around the nation, around the world.

You can do it! No excuses why you can’t. There have been adults and children all around the world without education, illnesses and diseases; parentless, poor and some are missing their limbs but are changing history. Each one Reach one!

What can you do to create a better you?  Steps that I think that are important are:

1. Start asking the question: Who am I?
2. Sit down with yourself; think about your life, and your journey.
3. As yourself: What has caused me great pain and how has it (negatively and positively) impacted my life? Pray and talk to God (or whomever you believe in) Cry, scream, yell, jump for God knows your journey. Not everything bad is sent by God but it all can be used by God to create!
4. Am I ready to make a change? Do I want to change?
5. What does change mean to me?
6. Realistically how can I start to make a change?

I’m praying for you! You got this!