Have a new perspective: You can handle it!

God says in scripture, “weapons may be formed against us, but they will not prosper.

I am not sure why life hits us so hard. I am unsure why there are diseases, corruption, mass shootings, cancer, or death. Nor do I have the answer for it. I believe in a higher power who has the answer but will not always give it until we go through the trial and gain a new perspective.

I genuinely believe every trial and circumstance is meant to build us if we allow it. We can sit on the sidelines, have pity, become overwhelmed with anxiety or depression, or make a conscious decision that “I’m going to look at this differently and glean what I can and move onto my next assignment.

No devil in hell can stop you from reaching your true potential, not poverty, not illness, not disability or circumstances. You can only stop yourself! We are our own worst enemy and that saying is true.

I was recently fired from a job I loved working with adults with autism, intellectual disabilities, and developmental disabilities who live with co-existing medical and mental illnesses. I worked hard and followed the books. Two weeks before my probation was over, I was let go with the explanation that “I wasn’t a good fit.” I was depressed initially and stopped working out and eating. Then I listened to a sermon and some worship music and realized my job isn’t the source of my identity, nor is it responsible for my happiness. I am, and God alone is. I felt free.

I also realized there will be other jobs, and my career will continue. My destiny is not over. I am not less of a man, less anointed, less valuable, or unworthy. I am a child of God, his prize possession, the apple of his eye, and he loves me and has a great future planned for me. With more bumps and pit stops ahead. It’s important to remember that it’s a “pit stop and not a pitfall.” I had every right to feel every emotion I was feeling, but that didn’t give me the ok to stop living and have a pity party. If I can survive foster care, survive and live with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety, be in my first year of an MSW program, and overcome homelessness, I can overcome losing a job. God has gotten me through all that, and I learned so much from this job, about the population I like to work with, the hours I work better at, I gained my CPR/First Aid certification, and learned how to work while living with a mental illness. I gained so much. I’m grateful to God for this experience. If I could do it all over again, I would. I’m not bitter or angry. Nor am I sad. I am at peace with my creator, knowing he is in control and has crowned my life with favor, and my life will go on.

As will yours! You’re going to make it. Keep dreaming. No dream is too big for the creator to make come true. No goal is out of reach. Nothing is limiting you.

Have a new perspective: With God, you can, and you will handle this!

Domenia

Thanks n Pain

I woke up with the intention of this day being a great day. I wrote in my prayer journal telling Jesus what I’m thankful for and I meant every single word. I spent the holidays alone and after overcoming foster care and homelessness being alone on the holidays isn’t as tough. I have a home to be alone in and that makes a difference. I’m thankful. I was able to text and video my birth mom and even see my biological family and that’s where things went sour. I was called a n*igga because my Baptist family disrespects me and doesn’t accept me as a transgender man. I was called my *dead nickname instead of Zih or my preferred birthname Domenia. I was ignored and passed from family member to family member I haven’t seen in years who weren’t interested in me and my favorite aunt called me a n*igga. I refused to let that spoil my ground turkey taco day. I hung up with texted friends and supported and listened to sermons and I prayed. I felt at peace. I felt a stillness like God had heard me and I would be vindicated through love, not through wrath or vengeance. I don’t believe God is like that. Tacos were yummy. My friends were also isolated from families’ newbies in the game (it’s sad that that’s what I call it but it’s my numbness to it). I texted that aunt telling her to “never disrespect me again. My name is Domenia Zih. Just call me Domenia if you have nothing else to call me. I haven’t seen you in years. I froze when I saw you because I couldn’t believe it was you and you were alive. You are my favorite aunt. Who won’t respect me as a transgender man? Goodbye then. I’m done with the Dickey’s I’m not one of you guys and never have been. Don’t you ever call me a n*igga again or else I will sue you and bring you to family/civil court. Good Bye”

She texted me back explaining she always says that and I know it. I responded “I don’t know you. I was homeless for over 3 years and you were nowhere to be found. I tried to call you and get your son who I call my little brother sneakers and you wouldn’t respond to me. I tested you asking you to talk to me and why won’t you talk to me? I asked why are you judging me for being transgender when you are a minister? You remain quiet for years.” She sent laughing emojis so I contacted Verizon and blocked her. before I blocked her I warned her if she “reaches out to me again were going to court and I’m calling the cops for harassment and I meant it”

Why am I telling you this because this was painful? Something I have been avoiding experiencing. This experience proved growth. If this same experience happened to me before I was on my meds and found a home I’d be in the hospital for a suicide attempt. This experience allowed me to see my life differently and how I used to respond to situations and I don’t think if I hadn’t started my testosterone, my schizophrenia injection, or meds I would be able to tell this testimony. I’m not going to let anyone steal my joy or the progress I’ve made. I’m starting graduate school on Jan. 3rd, 2022. I’m no longer the victim but the victor. I am powerful. I am an overcomer. I am courageous. I am of good courage. I am a winner. I am a child of God. I am noble. I am patient, kind, loving, and peaceful.

Guess what, so are You, YES YOU!

Don’t let anyone pull you out of your character and make you feel less than a person or a child of the highest God. Don’t let anyone pull negativity out of you when out of you flows oils of mercy and meekness. Don’t let anyone treat you like shit either. Stand up for yourself with decency and integrity. count every day above the ground as a day to give thanks not just one day a year. You can accomplish your dream and aspire to achieve higher. I believe in you

Happy Thanksgiving.

Me!

I’m at it AGAIN!

by Lilly on Pinterest

One day at a time. I know. I’m just excited about my future. And at PEACE with myself. There are still ups and downs. More ups though. With a clearer focus. So I’m getting there. Not ready to be 100% financially stable but getting there.

Great news!

My disability will not stop me, and will not always be a disability. It will one day be just a thorn in my side that I take medication for like everyone else. I welcome this life and prayerfully 3 years from now I will be updating my blog and write about my freedom and 100% self-independence.

I was offered many but after I accepted a camp job that I feel is right for me.

Am I nervous? Yes. Am I ready? I think so. Yes. I’m going to help teach youth STEM-related topics through disguised learning. I’m happy. Happy, because now I’m a taxpayer again. Happy, because I am going to make friends. Happy, because I have a responsibility. Happy because I’m taking the first step towards my own self-actualization.

I’m still bipolar with psychosis and still am diagnosed with ADD while living with an eating disorder. However, I am no longer living with the chains of my illness as a collar around my neck as a pet would. I’m finding myself and this is step one. 3 years. 3 long years. I’m a year closer to my MSW program and closer to becoming an LMSW and a year closer to starting my own business.

To the disabled person listening and reading, do not limit yourself. You can make it. You will make it. As the great Jill Griffin and Dr. Mouriz and John L. (LCSW) have told me a thousand times remember; one day at a time. I have much farther to go. I have more growth to make. As do the average person. We haven’t made it until we have. 

God Bless and Good Luck

Domenia Zih

Kwanzaa: Ujima: Black lives do matter!

• Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together (wiki..)

 

I’d like to highlight the #blacklivesmatter movement for holding the sacred truths of Kwanzaa (deliberate or not). In reality, we are not far from the African American Civil Rights Movement (1954-1968). Our fight as black people may have transition but it has not changed.

2017 saw too much black death, by a fellow brother or sister, by a cop, by leaders who abuse their power, and citizens whom are quick to pick up a pistol before having that same quickness to listen. Sometimes I think we want to see hate, and violence, and discrimination as it’s a mask energy source. As if we as a country do not know how to live in harmony and peace. Or maybe we are afraid of it

Children are not born hateful, it is taught! Allow our children dear universe, equal opportunity to play and scrap their knees with one another. For our daughters not to be discouraged because their isn’t foundation to match their skin tone. For our sons to be known for their character and to not be known for the quality of his sneakers. For our children, dear universe, to aspire to be doctors, lawyers, construction owners, business owners, chefs, inventors, cosmetologist, teachers, and preachers as well. For them, limitless is their only option.  We went to be equally recognized in the media, movies, politics, and music; equally paid not based on gender or skin tone, but on hard work.

Many are threatened by the black lives matter movement/ civil rights movement just like they were in the 50’s and 60’s. There’s not a reason for fear. We black people, minorities, and women are the ones who live in fear. We come in peace. We demand respect, do not apologize for our integrity, we do not apologize for our kinky hair, dark skin, and broad backs. We are made in the image of our father, the creator of the universe. We don’t want our children to fear going to school for the fear of being killed is so surreal. Or fathers in the morning says goodbye to his children, but in his mind, he questions “will this be my final goodbye?”

I don’t want to read about another Trans/Queer/LGBTQIA person being killed, and never given their day of justice in front of blind lady liberty. I don’t want another brother or sister who is Trans/Queer/LGBTQIA and them not be recognized as human beings with a soul and as an equal creation from our creator.

I pray that in 2018 there are no more deaths plagued by the disease or prejudice, racism, and hate. I pray that in 2018 everyone has insurance. I pray that in 2018 no one goes to bed hungry, and no one is sleeping in the winter or summer, under a bridge or on the sidewalks. I pray for change!

I also understand that those who fought and continue to fight the good fight would want us in 2018 to keep fighting, but not just for us. For anyone without a voice. I pray eventually we birth a generation that is moved past race and gender and seen as a human. I pray that our society stops viewing individuals who are not white skin, or blue eyes as different. For we are a people, with a soul, with a story, and a child of the universe; just like them.

It’s our responsibility to our fellow brothers and sisters of the good fight. to build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together