The heart that matters

I just listened to my pastor speak about the “heart that matters.” I’m still getting used to this softer approach to Jesus, instead of the condemnation I was raised listening to in sermons.

The gist of the sermon was not to continually contemplate our faults, imperfections, failures and “lack off’s”. It’s the heart behind the faults, imperfections, and failures that matters. This is the main ingredient to the Christian faith; we are not perfect and fall many times, it’s the heart that matters and how we get back up.

An unusual topic for me to hear with love and in love esp. by a pastor. However, it’s true. I’ve hurt many people and acted outside of my character. Having a mental illness I am different and I process life differently. I never intend to hurt a soul. It hurts me when I find out I hurt someone. It hurts because I know the feeling of rejection, self-hate, judgment; feelings of projected anger and just ugliness. I know these feelings all too well. Knowing I inflicted this hurt onto another soul I resent, reject. self-loathe and I become bitter towards myself. Then it becomes a cycle!

My heart is always in the right place. This is the story with most of us. We don’t want to hurt other people, let alone neglect our various religious beliefs maybe even our family values. It’s the heart that matters. When we evaluate ourselves we should inspect our intent and the execution of what happened. Be honest with ourselves. Genuinely make amends if possible. If not we need to forgive ourselves. The “move on”.

I know as a Christian God doesn’t remember every act that’s negative we commit. He looks at the heart behind the action. I bet Allah and Buddha do too. We need to realize every person born and even animal will make mistakes, it’s getting back up that counts. It’s the heart of getting up and moving on; allowing each incident to be a teacher so that we grow into the beautiful people we are.

We grow from glory to glory. God already is in love with us. God already adores us, we have his personal stamp of approval. God smiles reign on us daily. We are his children and creation. He cheers for us as we play the game of life and even if we miss the mark he is the coach encouraging us to get up and keep playing.

Friends, you may not believe in the God I do. I respect you. You are validated in my heart! You may be Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddist, even Atheist but when we fall to the source of our creation who just wants us to win the fight of life. Life’s short and we are to keep getting up, fighting, and making a difference for others. It’s the “heart that matters”. We will not be perfect. I will never be perfect. However, I will commit to being the best version of myself I can be.

What’s great about that is no one can be you but “you”. You’re a unique and divine creation. You’re the only you. I’m the only me. But that doesn’t mean we cannot be happy, nor does it entail that we don’t deserve happiness. We deserve all the blessings, favor, joy, contentment with all of creation and from our creators.

So please, smile today. Let tomorrow be tomorrow. Know you’re the best “you” today. Let tomorrow be a mystery and embrace it when we face it.

Blessings,

Domenia Zih

Kwanzaa: Ujima: Black lives do matter!

• Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together (wiki..)

 

I’d like to highlight the #blacklivesmatter movement for holding the sacred truths of Kwanzaa (deliberate or not). In reality, we are not far from the African American Civil Rights Movement (1954-1968). Our fight as black people may have transition but it has not changed.

2017 saw too much black death, by a fellow brother or sister, by a cop, by leaders who abuse their power, and citizens whom are quick to pick up a pistol before having that same quickness to listen. Sometimes I think we want to see hate, and violence, and discrimination as it’s a mask energy source. As if we as a country do not know how to live in harmony and peace. Or maybe we are afraid of it

Children are not born hateful, it is taught! Allow our children dear universe, equal opportunity to play and scrap their knees with one another. For our daughters not to be discouraged because their isn’t foundation to match their skin tone. For our sons to be known for their character and to not be known for the quality of his sneakers. For our children, dear universe, to aspire to be doctors, lawyers, construction owners, business owners, chefs, inventors, cosmetologist, teachers, and preachers as well. For them, limitless is their only option.  We went to be equally recognized in the media, movies, politics, and music; equally paid not based on gender or skin tone, but on hard work.

Many are threatened by the black lives matter movement/ civil rights movement just like they were in the 50’s and 60’s. There’s not a reason for fear. We black people, minorities, and women are the ones who live in fear. We come in peace. We demand respect, do not apologize for our integrity, we do not apologize for our kinky hair, dark skin, and broad backs. We are made in the image of our father, the creator of the universe. We don’t want our children to fear going to school for the fear of being killed is so surreal. Or fathers in the morning says goodbye to his children, but in his mind, he questions “will this be my final goodbye?”

I don’t want to read about another Trans/Queer/LGBTQIA person being killed, and never given their day of justice in front of blind lady liberty. I don’t want another brother or sister who is Trans/Queer/LGBTQIA and them not be recognized as human beings with a soul and as an equal creation from our creator.

I pray that in 2018 there are no more deaths plagued by the disease or prejudice, racism, and hate. I pray that in 2018 everyone has insurance. I pray that in 2018 no one goes to bed hungry, and no one is sleeping in the winter or summer, under a bridge or on the sidewalks. I pray for change!

I also understand that those who fought and continue to fight the good fight would want us in 2018 to keep fighting, but not just for us. For anyone without a voice. I pray eventually we birth a generation that is moved past race and gender and seen as a human. I pray that our society stops viewing individuals who are not white skin, or blue eyes as different. For we are a people, with a soul, with a story, and a child of the universe; just like them.

It’s our responsibility to our fellow brothers and sisters of the good fight. to build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together

 

Kwanzaa: Umoja: Unity:

Umoja- Unity

When I think of unity I think of “wholeness” this year I’ve been made whole in many areas of my life. I’m not as sick as I have been, no longer homeless and no longer alone. Unity was a choice I had to make; a goal I set and one I conquered. I’m grateful! Is all I can say. There’s something and someone bigger than me and kept me company. I cried much, but my tears never fell on empty grounds.

I am whole

I think about all the trials and tribulations we as African Americans have overcome and still face, while death is outside our door, we still sing “we shall overcome” I have never been as proud as I have as an African American until we came together, made our voices heard, and are still demanding justice and equality.

We are whole

United we stand Divided we shall fall. God is with us. Our ancestors march within us from the heavens, opening doors, and blasting with trumpets. We are not alone. History can’t forget our marks that we are leaving on this earth. And the future will not ignore us.

We are ONE!

Joyous Kwanzaa, everyone.

 

 

 

We ain’t got no neighbors.

   I live in a suburban area. It has been pretty quiet until this past week.

I live with a white foster family, and across the street when I first moved in I realized that I was not the only person of color.

I was not upset or angry. During 2008 elections  I saw a republican flag hanging from a black mans house. Shocked, everyone on my street was a liberal. I never knew how you could be of color and a republican. 

Until that point I never knew that there were African-Americans who would vote for “Bush.”

Today June 24 2012 I was walking from the corner market. I have dread locs and I just washed them. I look like a rug. However, I finally said walked crossed the street and said “Hi, I am Domenia your neighbor” The young man, said “hey, I’m RJ” and we had a conversation.

On my street at RJ’s home it was crowded outside. There was a graduation celebration. I was disturbed though, because the quietness, and stillness in our neighborhood I realized would soon be no more, and maybe the other “white” neighbors would move out in fear of our culture, music style and urban lifestyles; that didn’t fit the white upper class society. 

I talked with RJ. He is really cool! He was sitting on his dads porch. His dad came out front, RJ immediately said “dad, this is your neighbor Mia”

The father immediately said “we ain’t got no neighbors.” He hesitantly shook my hand. I wanted to cry, because I felt in my heart that he was responding to stereotypes. Just because people choose to sit on their porch does not mean that trouble is afoot. I asked God to forgive me, because I had made that same assumption when I saw that there was more color added to Belmont Street it would some how change something, we would be united solely because of the color of our skin. 

I’m in awe. “we ain’t got no neighbors.” I wonder if the Republican flag was really just to fit in or if he is a true Republican. I wonder if he was worried about how other people saw him and his family.

Finally on my street I thought I could befriend a family with hair like mine. And then I heard the words “we ain’t got no neighbors”

The African-American community is not all bad. It’s false that,  one bad apple spoils it for the rest. However, we are fighting the stereotype. I feel as though that African-Americans creates more tension than what needs to be. The mentality of being 3rd class citizens, animals, “niggas”, defeated and demoralization has to go.

Our young men and women need to grow up, and be raise into position of authority and respect for themselves, their country, their family, and their community. Yes, the African-American Community has seen turmoil, death, hate, depression and oppression. However so has the Jewish Community, Hispanic/Latino Community, Mental/Handicapp Community, Foster Care Youth and Immigration Community.

“WE HAVE NEIGHBORS! AND IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE RECOGNIZED THAT TOGETHER WE STAND AND DIVIDED WE SHALL FALL”

SO TO 15 BELMONT STREET “YOU HAVE NEIGHBORS, BLACK, WHITE, HISPANIC, GAY, HANDICAPP, AND OF DIFFERENT FAITHS.

Philippians 4: 12-13

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,   whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.