“Do you boo!”

What do you do when you don’t feel understood? When you open your voice to speak and nothing comes out. Who do you turn to, when all you get are voice mails? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you can’t recognize your own face? Some people expect you to just get “over” the actions of others, and move on. When it’s not that easy. Sometimes shit hurts and you need to cry, it doesn’t just go away-I mean it didn’t “just happen.” What do you say to yourself, when it seems like you can’t get right, and are the Hebrews running around that mountain, and all you need is a GPS? What do you say to yourself when all you want is a little direction, and instead you get criticism? What happens when it feels like a “prayer” isn’t enough?

What do you do?

If I say scream, there’s a chance you will be seen as odd. If I say cry, there is a chance you will be seen as depressed, and unstable. If I say walk away, then you’ll be observed as cold-hearted. If I say “do you” then you might just be perceived as an individual with an attitude.

What do you do?

Remember that one bible scripture that points out Jesus’s humanity, “Jesus wept.” Remember that within each deity, there was once humanity.

So, what do you do?

Cry! Scream! “Boo, do you!”

Others will always judge you. Not everyone will understand you. Pain is not something you just get over, it’s your journey, and don’t let it hinder you. Don’t let stigma define you, and don’t let trials and tribulations become you. Allow it to become a catalyst and not an end. Use your pain, hurt, fear and everything else as a way to motivate you; to motivate others. Never stop living, achieve your highest goals. If you fall 100 times, at least you got up!

So, what do you do?

LIVE!

 

 

Strength

When we hear the word “strong” it’s often associated with the idea of physical strength. I challenge you to think about emotional strength. Emotional strength comes from your inner being, at the core of who you are, there’s no other strength like it. I’ve survived rape, neglect, physical and emotional abuse; people ask how am I not bitter? How am I still functioning? How do I still smile. I reply “God.”

I will forever state that “we are spiritual beings having a humanistic experience.” Whether you would like to admit it, or not, you’re a spiritual being living the human experience. You inner being is what strengthens you when you want to give up and give into the negativity within this humanistic experience.

You can’t become physically strong without a continual work-out routine, commitment to a healthy diet and probably help from a physical trainer. It takes time, dedication, hard work, and desire. There’s no difference with emotional strength! We don’t choose the cards we are dealt in life, we can’t change the past, the hurt, abuse and misunderstandings. However, you have a choice!Will allow your circumstances to strengthen you emotionally, and spiritually or destroy you;sometimes it will require reaching out to others, but often it’ll require having faith in a high power, and knowing in your heart that, no matter what it looks like; you have what it takes to make it!

It’s not fair, the pain we have to go through living this human life. It hurts to cry and not have someone to hold onto you. It hurts when a love one dies, and you’ll never get to see them again. It hurts! It sucks! It’s what you do with the pain that makes the difference for your life and the lives of others.

Think of life as a gym membership, you’re signed up, and your intentions are to physically look the best and to be in a healthy shape and feel the best; so you work at it. You commit yourself to a work-out routine. You discipline yourself to eat healthy and then after a while you’ll start to see the change. That size 10 will become a size 8. 🙂

Allow your experiences to build you, make a commitment to yourself; believing irregardless of what comes, I (you) will make it. You’re a survivor! You’re a winner! You’re a conquer. You have to be there for yourself when, no one else is there. You have to believe that you have been given the tools to handle everything you will experience. Believe that whomever your high power/deity is, for me it’s “Jesus” has your best interest at heart and will not let you fall so far down, that you cannot be saved.

My strength comes from my commitment to my mental health, religious support, community support, friends and mainly myself. Things always work our the way they are meant to be, and I believe even if you don’t that there is a God who loves you, looking out for you and wants you to trust your inner strength.

You can do all things through Christ (whomever you diety or God is) that has given you STRENGTH!

Blessings,

Domenia L Dickey

Place of Impact: Aging out of foster care!

Yesterday, I was riding my bike in the rain from work, and was hit by a car. I’m safe, but injured. My bike is ok! I called my foster mom, my grandma, aunt and I was yelled at. Last week I was drugged and sexually violated and I called a trusted aunt and God-Mother and no one returned my phone call.

My God-Mother’s daughter reminded me that, I’m not her “real daughter”. It brought my mine back to the day my foster mom’s bio. daughter told me “she didn’t ask for me”, and her son told me “I’m replaceable.” Then my mind brought me back to being abandon from childhood, and no one advocating for me. My cousin told me I was tiring, and that she won’t help me. I swore at her, we almost had a fist fight.

One aunt, my favorite aunt told me, it’s “ok.” She will always answer her phone, but I’ve heard that before, and then I know I’ve burned bridges too. She told me that I have to control my emotions, and I wanted to yell “I’m bipolar” and then I realized that just because I have a mental illness, I’m on medication and I have a certain amount of control over my actions; even if not my emotions.

When the doctors were examining me, I was crying, not because I was in pain. No. But, because no one was there with me and I was going through this alone. I cried because I faced my reality. I’m no longer in foster care, there are no more social workers and I’m a grown woman. Whether I feel alone, abandon and/or my emotions/mental health is out of control, I have to be my own advocate and stand up for myself. I have to use my voice, and have faith in a higher power. I have to pray daily that my heart is renewed, my mind is healed, and that I have the power to live a God driven and purposeful life. At this point, it’s my choice.

So this is my message:

To those aging out of foster care, we have to accept that we’ve had it rough. We have to admit that we cry at night, are angry, confused and are trying to make it, in a complicated world. Sometimes when we go to the hospital, no one will come. We will have to walk home from work because no one will answer their phone. We will have to go to the doctors and hear hard words.But we’re not alone. There is a God that cares, and we have to remember the words of support, those good social workers and those who cared for us even if we don’t we never see them again. We have to believe in ourselves, get our education, get a job, and create our own families. We have to be open to new friendships, and new opportunities. We’ve made it this far, beat the system. Let us not give up. We will make it!

You are loved! I’m praying. I’m your advocate.

Seasons are changing!

In every great leader at one point had to walk alone, and if they’re lucky they’ve realized that, they were never alone to begin with. Not everyone in your life is mean’t to be there through every trial.

We have to accept that relationships are seasonal. What do I mean by seasonal? What I mean is that we are forever evolving and hopefully growing and fulfilling our purpose on this earth. I still didn’t answer my own question. What do I mean as seasonal? When you were a child you needed your parents to teach you, wash you, and clothe you. Eventually you grew, and didn’t need them in that way. They can still be a part of your life, but in a different way.

Sometimes you meet a person on the street that was only meant to say something encouraging you, or to tell you their story; and we didn’t know it, but it was design by a higher power that you heard such words. You could be having a bad day, but a random compliment could’ve changed your day. Hearing their story could have opened up your eyes and helped you discover something about yourself. You may not see that person every again, but in the season (time in your life) whatever you got from them, you needed it to help you move on and to reach your destination.

Not everyone in your life is meant to be there for everything, no matter how much you want them to be. Your season (time) with everyone is different and sometimes people will return but not always.

Sometimes we have to know when to allow God to take control, bless us, direct us and know, that whom he has placed in our lives for that season we need them, and to appreciate them and learn all that we can. You don’t need you pre-school teacher to teach you to color in the lines when you’re in high school. But that doesn’t mean they can’t at one point become a mentor. Seasons change just as nature.

We just have to know when to let go. So it brings me to my first part, the greatest leaders at one point had to experience what Paul did in the bible, to enter a point in life, where all they can do is rely on a God. A God we cannot see, not always hear, but we have to have faith in our hearts to know he is there; our job is to remain focus, and know just like people circumstances and trials are only their for a season.

Endure your season, make change, inspire a life and be your own change.

-Domenia