Beauty in the Journey

We are:

Quick to judge, when beauty is deeper than skin

Quick to overlook and over complicate the definition of true beauty

The beauty that runs from the heart with its truth and wisdom flowing through one’s blood

Beauty is as simple as laughter

a kind smile 🙂

gracious spirit; actions of a hug

a cooked meal with free ears to listen

or just a helping hand

That’s beauty

Beauty is:

the expression of Joy, similar to discovering the unconditional love of Jesus or the universe

a non-judgmental, limitless, open minded and evolving heart

I’m grateful to be shown, true love

Beauty is in nature:

vibrant green grass

rainbow flowers

purple carrots

yellow squash

black grapes

and red apples

Beauty is in season and out, powerful and wonderful even when it brings calamity

Summer brings joy

Fall a crisp seasoned air

Winter brutal and cold yet purifies the earth with snow

Spring full of rain and wonders of what it is to come

Beauty tells us promises are abound to the rich and poor, educated and not

we share this journey

Beauty is in this journey

 

I was just baptized, and in this act, I was baptized with a recovering alcoholic with 12 years sober and he was making a declaration to his community, himself and God, proof of God’s beauty, proof of the promise, and justification for beauty.

 

 

“Do you boo!”

What do you do when you don’t feel understood? When you open your voice to speak and nothing comes out. Who do you turn to, when all you get are voice mails? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you can’t recognize your own face? Some people expect you to just get “over” the actions of others, and move on. When it’s not that easy. Sometimes shit hurts and you need to cry, it doesn’t just go away-I mean it didn’t “just happen.” What do you say to yourself, when it seems like you can’t get right, and are the Hebrews running around that mountain, and all you need is a GPS? What do you say to yourself when all you want is a little direction, and instead you get criticism? What happens when it feels like a “prayer” isn’t enough?

What do you do?

If I say scream, there’s a chance you will be seen as odd. If I say cry, there is a chance you will be seen as depressed, and unstable. If I say walk away, then you’ll be observed as cold-hearted. If I say “do you” then you might just be perceived as an individual with an attitude.

What do you do?

Remember that one bible scripture that points out Jesus’s humanity, “Jesus wept.” Remember that within each deity, there was once humanity.

So, what do you do?

Cry! Scream! “Boo, do you!”

Others will always judge you. Not everyone will understand you. Pain is not something you just get over, it’s your journey, and don’t let it hinder you. Don’t let stigma define you, and don’t let trials and tribulations become you. Allow it to become a catalyst and not an end. Use your pain, hurt, fear and everything else as a way to motivate you; to motivate others. Never stop living, achieve your highest goals. If you fall 100 times, at least you got up!

So, what do you do?

LIVE!

 

 

Place of Impact: Aging out of foster care!

Yesterday, I was riding my bike in the rain from work, and was hit by a car. I’m safe, but injured. My bike is ok! I called my foster mom, my grandma, aunt and I was yelled at. Last week I was drugged and sexually violated and I called a trusted aunt and God-Mother and no one returned my phone call.

My God-Mother’s daughter reminded me that, I’m not her “real daughter”. It brought my mine back to the day my foster mom’s bio. daughter told me “she didn’t ask for me”, and her son told me “I’m replaceable.” Then my mind brought me back to being abandon from childhood, and no one advocating for me. My cousin told me I was tiring, and that she won’t help me. I swore at her, we almost had a fist fight.

One aunt, my favorite aunt told me, it’s “ok.” She will always answer her phone, but I’ve heard that before, and then I know I’ve burned bridges too. She told me that I have to control my emotions, and I wanted to yell “I’m bipolar” and then I realized that just because I have a mental illness, I’m on medication and I have a certain amount of control over my actions; even if not my emotions.

When the doctors were examining me, I was crying, not because I was in pain. No. But, because no one was there with me and I was going through this alone. I cried because I faced my reality. I’m no longer in foster care, there are no more social workers and I’m a grown woman. Whether I feel alone, abandon and/or my emotions/mental health is out of control, I have to be my own advocate and stand up for myself. I have to use my voice, and have faith in a higher power. I have to pray daily that my heart is renewed, my mind is healed, and that I have the power to live a God driven and purposeful life. At this point, it’s my choice.

So this is my message:

To those aging out of foster care, we have to accept that we’ve had it rough. We have to admit that we cry at night, are angry, confused and are trying to make it, in a complicated world. Sometimes when we go to the hospital, no one will come. We will have to walk home from work because no one will answer their phone. We will have to go to the doctors and hear hard words.But we’re not alone. There is a God that cares, and we have to remember the words of support, those good social workers and those who cared for us even if we don’t we never see them again. We have to believe in ourselves, get our education, get a job, and create our own families. We have to be open to new friendships, and new opportunities. We’ve made it this far, beat the system. Let us not give up. We will make it!

You are loved! I’m praying. I’m your advocate.

Seasons are changing!

In every great leader at one point had to walk alone, and if they’re lucky they’ve realized that, they were never alone to begin with. Not everyone in your life is mean’t to be there through every trial.

We have to accept that relationships are seasonal. What do I mean by seasonal? What I mean is that we are forever evolving and hopefully growing and fulfilling our purpose on this earth. I still didn’t answer my own question. What do I mean as seasonal? When you were a child you needed your parents to teach you, wash you, and clothe you. Eventually you grew, and didn’t need them in that way. They can still be a part of your life, but in a different way.

Sometimes you meet a person on the street that was only meant to say something encouraging you, or to tell you their story; and we didn’t know it, but it was design by a higher power that you heard such words. You could be having a bad day, but a random compliment could’ve changed your day. Hearing their story could have opened up your eyes and helped you discover something about yourself. You may not see that person every again, but in the season (time in your life) whatever you got from them, you needed it to help you move on and to reach your destination.

Not everyone in your life is meant to be there for everything, no matter how much you want them to be. Your season (time) with everyone is different and sometimes people will return but not always.

Sometimes we have to know when to allow God to take control, bless us, direct us and know, that whom he has placed in our lives for that season we need them, and to appreciate them and learn all that we can. You don’t need you pre-school teacher to teach you to color in the lines when you’re in high school. But that doesn’t mean they can’t at one point become a mentor. Seasons change just as nature.

We just have to know when to let go. So it brings me to my first part, the greatest leaders at one point had to experience what Paul did in the bible, to enter a point in life, where all they can do is rely on a God. A God we cannot see, not always hear, but we have to have faith in our hearts to know he is there; our job is to remain focus, and know just like people circumstances and trials are only their for a season.

Endure your season, make change, inspire a life and be your own change.

-Domenia