“Do you boo!”

What do you do when you don’t feel understood? When you open your voice to speak and nothing comes out. Who do you turn to, when all you get are voice mails? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you can’t recognize your own face? Some people expect you to just get “over” the actions of others, and move on. When it’s not that easy. Sometimes shit hurts and you need to cry, it doesn’t just go away-I mean it didn’t “just happen.” What do you say to yourself, when it seems like you can’t get right, and are the Hebrews running around that mountain, and all you need is a GPS? What do you say to yourself when all you want is a little direction, and instead you get criticism? What happens when it feels like a “prayer” isn’t enough?

What do you do?

If I say scream, there’s a chance you will be seen as odd. If I say cry, there is a chance you will be seen as depressed, and unstable. If I say walk away, then you’ll be observed as cold-hearted. If I say “do you” then you might just be perceived as an individual with an attitude.

What do you do?

Remember that one bible scripture that points out Jesus’s humanity, “Jesus wept.” Remember that within each deity, there was once humanity.

So, what do you do?

Cry! Scream! “Boo, do you!”

Others will always judge you. Not everyone will understand you. Pain is not something you just get over, it’s your journey, and don’t let it hinder you. Don’t let stigma define you, and don’t let trials and tribulations become you. Allow it to become a catalyst and not an end. Use your pain, hurt, fear and everything else as a way to motivate you; to motivate others. Never stop living, achieve your highest goals. If you fall 100 times, at least you got up!

So, what do you do?

LIVE!

 

 

Dear, Pastor->Leaders->Ministers->Reverends->Bishops->Church goers

I know many of my followers have different faiths and everyday I see a “like” or “share” my heart feels great. This is a letter to the church and pastors/leaders

Dear Church, Pastors and Leaders,

Thank-you for your service. There’re are hearts the need to be mended, spiritual wounds that need to be healed and tended too, struggles that require encouragement and stories that need to be heard and shared. It’s time to break tradition. It’s time to break religious customs. No rules, no religion but the true message, authentic message of Jesus. Please don’t preach opinion, and stay away from facts. Preach the unconditional love, acceptance, miracles, tend to the sick, open your ears and hear what your congregates hearts have to say. Teach your members about giving back to the community and reaching out beyond the four walls.

The building where we corporately worship, is just that a “building.” Jesus said that “we” the “person” is the church. So as a people, person; we need to reach out to the drug addicts, to the prostitutes,  to the struggling youth, to the homeless and hungry. We need to teach our congregates how to take the message we hear every Sunday and practice it for ourselves and for the community.

Hearts are hurting and people are crying out for help. We are the help through Jesus. People want authentic believers, and those with pure hearts. Stop the judgment, traditions and making people feel unwelcome. We need as a faith to grow, and encourage people to grow, no matter their faith or spiritual beliefs. Stop picking parts of the bible to follow, and follow the truth of Jesus, the truth in your heart and love of God. Show people that there is a God, and he loves you no matter where you are in life. Teach people people that God doesn’t judge and wants to help inspire them to have a life of purpose.

Lets feed the hungry, cloth those in need. Lets continue the work that the disciples started and Jesus taught. Take us to the KING! We need a word of life to that dying soul. We need a word for those who feel they are unreachable. We need a word, we need to hear Jesus’s teaching, love and why he truly died on the cross. Honestly we need to reach out to those not in our church, but also those in our churches. Reach out to all those you can, pray without cease. We as believers have a job to do.

Sincerely,

Domenia L Dickey

Like Dust, I Rise

Last night I had written my final wishes, and will; saying my good-bye, having my last words be “I’ve tried.” I always talked about killing myself, and I’ve had attempts. After being assaulted, and getting hit by a car, I felt so alone. My aunt and Dad said that sometimes we have to go through things physically alone but God is always there. Last night, I called my aunt to pray with me, the final prayer I would ever hear, because tonight 9/16/2015 I was going to kill myself, and not reach out to anyone. I didn’t want it to be seen as a cry for attention, and I didn’t want to burden anyone else. I was also told that if you are really going to kill yourself, you don’t talk about it; you just do it. That was my plan.

On crutches I’ve been going to work, and by God’s grace getting home. I heard that there was church, and my pastor was going to be there. I knew in my heart, that I needed to go. I knew in my heart that if I never have another friend, if I limp and take the bus for the rest of my life that God would still be there. I knew it, but I needed to hear it. I needed to see familiar faces of  from the one who poured into my heart and my soul. I also knew I needed to hear from God.

I had forgotten at how much I’ve survived, and the wonderful people whom have blessed my life. I had forgotten about those who answered their phone nightly and prayed with me. I forgot about how much support I really have. I forgot how strong I really am. I forgot about God, and his importance in my life. I wanted to give up, allowing life, to take me out. A woman I look up to: Min. Barnes said “I’m a warrior” and then she said “even warriors need rest.” I realized, my rest is in a God that you cannot see, sometimes can’t hear, or, understand. But I had to take rest in remembering what in knowing my life will get better; I will succeed, and my dreams, goals,  to reach out to youth in foster care will happen

I will not take my own life. That’s not how my story is going to end. I make that choice. Yes, I’ll get depressed. Yes, I’ll get manic. Yes, I might have hallucinations. I will have struggles, and face hard times. Everyone will, more than once; but as Maya Angelou said, “Like Dust, I RISE.”  I have no idea what tomorrow will look like. I have no idea where I’ll be next month, but I know I’ll be alive! Because giving up is a choice, I fought to hard to make it to where I am. I’m not ready to say good-bye.

Today 9/16/2015 I choose life.

Pastor Paula White says “do not cure your crisis-use it; for it’s in times of the crisis that your courage, faith, and strength, lets you live an undefeated life.

I’d like to add: it’s time of crisis that you are being molded into the person God has mean’t for you to be. It’s building you, and not destroying you.

Choose life with me, and lets make it together.

Place of Impact: Aging out of foster care!

Yesterday, I was riding my bike in the rain from work, and was hit by a car. I’m safe, but injured. My bike is ok! I called my foster mom, my grandma, aunt and I was yelled at. Last week I was drugged and sexually violated and I called a trusted aunt and God-Mother and no one returned my phone call.

My God-Mother’s daughter reminded me that, I’m not her “real daughter”. It brought my mine back to the day my foster mom’s bio. daughter told me “she didn’t ask for me”, and her son told me “I’m replaceable.” Then my mind brought me back to being abandon from childhood, and no one advocating for me. My cousin told me I was tiring, and that she won’t help me. I swore at her, we almost had a fist fight.

One aunt, my favorite aunt told me, it’s “ok.” She will always answer her phone, but I’ve heard that before, and then I know I’ve burned bridges too. She told me that I have to control my emotions, and I wanted to yell “I’m bipolar” and then I realized that just because I have a mental illness, I’m on medication and I have a certain amount of control over my actions; even if not my emotions.

When the doctors were examining me, I was crying, not because I was in pain. No. But, because no one was there with me and I was going through this alone. I cried because I faced my reality. I’m no longer in foster care, there are no more social workers and I’m a grown woman. Whether I feel alone, abandon and/or my emotions/mental health is out of control, I have to be my own advocate and stand up for myself. I have to use my voice, and have faith in a higher power. I have to pray daily that my heart is renewed, my mind is healed, and that I have the power to live a God driven and purposeful life. At this point, it’s my choice.

So this is my message:

To those aging out of foster care, we have to accept that we’ve had it rough. We have to admit that we cry at night, are angry, confused and are trying to make it, in a complicated world. Sometimes when we go to the hospital, no one will come. We will have to walk home from work because no one will answer their phone. We will have to go to the doctors and hear hard words.But we’re not alone. There is a God that cares, and we have to remember the words of support, those good social workers and those who cared for us even if we don’t we never see them again. We have to believe in ourselves, get our education, get a job, and create our own families. We have to be open to new friendships, and new opportunities. We’ve made it this far, beat the system. Let us not give up. We will make it!

You are loved! I’m praying. I’m your advocate.