Kwanzaa: Ujima

Ujima: To build and maintain our community together and make our sister’s and brother’s problems our problems and to solve them together.

We have been given an order a demand by the creator of the universe to take care of one another. To make your issue my issue. To not close our eyes when another is wounded but to ask, how can I help? When there is trash on the street it doesn’t matter if you put it there or not it is our command from the first Adam to have dominion over the earth, sea, animals, and land and to pick up that trash.

I am a black trans man I am not a thief. I am not a nigger. I am not a low life. Just because I come from poverty I am not poverty. Just because I struggle with a mental illness I am not my mental illness and it is not all of me. Just because I am on disability that doesn’t mean I don’t work nor am I lazy. I am a student and scholar in the making studying and pursuing and double master’s degree. No ma’am, no sir just because I wear a dark hoodie you don’t need to follow me around the store. Just because I smile at you doesn’t mean I intend to cause you harm. Why are you so afraid of the color of my skin? Am I not more than my blackness? Can you not see that I belong to a family? Officer, please don’t search me, not all black people look alike. Officer, please don’t shoot at me use your words. I am educated and can speak eloquently. If you don’t stop to ask my name or ask my story, you’ll never know. Will you?

“The only thing about rivers is you can’t step into the same river twice. The waters are always changing always flowing… and we all must pay a price to miss a chance at never knowing” Pochantos (Disney 1995)

To everyone we only have one earth. Yes, it costs more to go green but it hurts a lot more to die. We are killing animals, homes, and the earth. We are responsible for the calamity and destruction we must change our ways and do it NOW! We must demand that the gov’t hear our voices and make our votes count or vote them out. We must stand up for what is noble, pure, good, wholesome, loving, kind, and decent; sacred. I want kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. I want to change this earth for foster youth behind me and foster young adults I can’t do that if we all keep our eyes closed hoping for the next person to fix it.

Ujima is a call to action. A call to authority. I am first a Child of the God, a Black, African American Queer Man! I will be treated with dignity and respect and value. I will treat this earth with respect and kindness and dignity. I will start this year, NOW demanding my rights from my gov’t to vote freely and fairly and lastly I will be my brother’s and sister’s keeper.

What is your Ujima?

Joyous Kwanzaa. In Memory of oh Rep. John Lewis

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I cannot make you get a booster. I wish you saw the death that I have because that might change your mind. It’s hard to accept. It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that you can die of this awful disease that has killed almost 800,000 Americans and 5 were my friends and 3 family members. It’s hard to reach out to you because you don’t read but watch the world but through the tv. You won’t pick up a book or an article. You’re no longer an educator, you’re just existing just a shell of the woman I once knew. You take medication from doctors not knowing what it is. You’re having surgeries and you have no idea what they’re doing but it’s science; so is the booster. I’m immunocompromised and already had the stomach flu. I have other mothers I’ll make it. But I cannot have someone who can put my life in jeopardy around for me or my one-day future kids. We can talk via Whatsapp. But we can no longer see each other. I know you’ll see this as black and white but there is so much grey. I love you but I cherish my health more. If you decided to get the booster then we can hang again if not this is the path you have chosen and you have really lost two children. One because he is an asshole and the other because of your choice. I pray to hug you again and kiss you. I wish you well. I’m losing you twice once to foster care and this time to covid vaccine denial and that shouldn’t be the answer. I also need space to digest this. I probably won’t call for a while. It’s just so hard. But I needed to make this statement so the world could hold me accountable. Talking to you is painful for I don’t know if it’s going to be my last and I want to be able to control that and not a disease. So I’m saying goodbye for now but not forever. One day I hope you will have your child back. It’s been a great year with you in my life. I’ll cherrish it as if it’s been a decade. I will honor you and respect you.

You Son,

Domenia Zih.

State of my UNION

Dear Tim Scott,

Great job. Not! Your rebuttal was full of empty words, increased divisiveness between the American people, a disgrace to our black ancestors who blood and sweat built this country lastly I wouldn’t be surprised if you lost the vote and support of every black man and women whom you once inspired; now you’ve been a black sell out for the falsehood of a partisan lie.

Do you know what it’s like to be poor? Do you know what it’s like to be on food stamps, living on disability, and begging for a opportunity to make it out the hood as a black transgender (FTM) man? Do you know my pain? Do you know what it’s like waiting in a state building for your food stamps renewal to go through? or Medicaid? or Medicare? Try waiting for 3 hours on a good day with kids screaming and crying lines out the door. Poverty looks great, huh!

Why hinder President Biden?

Let me tell you and America my story. Raised in foster care. Paid my way through college with loans and scholarships. Hit by a car. Worked years as a barista at Starbucks (are you a vanilla latte-guy?). I have bipolar disorder with anxiety, depression and psychosis. My medication costs more than 3k a month. In yet I studied hard and went to school. With a foster family who loved me on condition. I attempted suicide after the accident and in a mixed episode state my foster parents said they could give me a sleeping bag but I could not come home. I lived on the beach. I showered in the ocean. I was dirty. I stinked. I was poor. To this day without my mentor mommy I would not be able to eat healthy and lose weight if she didn’t give me money for food. I only get 158$ a month for food stamps.My rent is almost 300$ and my disability is 700$. Don’t forget bills! We need the Biden package. People like me! I worked and worked at a restaurant so I could get a free meal. Eventually I joined a program called Continuum of Care, received medicaid, disability, found public housing (still there) and am living with chronic pain from a body that never healed correctly after being hit by a car while riding a bike from work in the rain at night because a white cop gave me an order, threatened me and I obeyed. Because of my obedience I was hit and because of my obedience the cop blamed me for the accident. No parents. Just a mentor who is my mommy. A praying God mother. And Continuum of Care.

Because of Continuum I have a home, treatment, insurance, and income. Continuum exists because of people like President Biden and Vice President Harris.

I am now applying for a msw program so I can start a real life and a family. Hopefully find a wife. I dream of starting a program where youth in foster care can age out go to college out of state and have a home to come to, earn a driver’s license, and mentor high school foster youth and have successful and powerful internships in the state of CT; so I can work on breaking the inner city negative poverty mindset. It’s no fun to make it out alone. I want a team!

President Biden, package yes, is pricey. I know. Work with him. We as America need both parties. Being progressive for me doesn’t mean being democrat it means continually pressing towards a goal for the better good of mankind.

Let’s stop knocking each other down and let’s start building one another up. If Jesus were to see what America has come to be he’d be disappointed. Love one another as you love yourself. Question,have you ever spoken to a transgender person and asked our story? What’s it like coming out? What’s it like going through another puberty? Continually asserting your pronouns and being afraid to use the bathrooms. Afraid to go to church. I came out to my church and there was a prayer circle around me to change. Some people treated me like a disease and pastors who were my aunts never answered my phone calls. My family disowned me twice.

Lastly! I think you should go to Oakland Cali. With sweatpants, hoodie and Jordans. Go to a bodega buy a Pepsi (you guys still boycotting Coke?)and see how the police treat you. They won’t see Senator Tim Scott..They will see a black man! I live in New Haven Connecticut and they will see a black man you will be stopped and asked questions if you’re lucky and harrassed. Not everyone in America is racist. But America was built on racism, genocide, greed, hate and lust. Don’t be blind to the truth for the sake of anyone and/or political party. Open your eyes! America sees you!

Truly,

Domenia Zih

Umoja is coming!

Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.

No one really knows why this holiday means so much to me. What is it? Is the question I am asked when I mention it. To me, it’s self-expressive and can be celebrated in a plethora of ways. However, it touches my heart because of my aunt; before I went into foster care it was Christmas there I realized my place in poverty and then Kwanzaa started this and gave me hope for my future and to celebrate being black, queer (LGTBQ), trans, educated, the children, the elderly; feeling no shame but inspired every day and every year to be my best. I promised to keep it close to my heart because one day there would be unity in my life. Unity within my family.

Its principles are where my attributes of integrity, wholeness, creativity; all the good that encompasses a person. Yes, Kwanzaa is meant to celebrate African American Heritage, and I don’t take that away, but it’s more inclusive than one race. I’m Proud of being of African Decent! I’m proud of my kinky and coiled hair. I’m proud of my faith and all the faiths that Africans celebrate. But let us not forget that the African American race is combined of many races, therefore, when one hurts we all hurt; when one is joyful we all celebrate; when one mourns we all mourn. Kwanzaa is collective and created in wholeness striving in our countries communities. 

So today is Umoja meaning unity. My family is broken but my life isn’t broken. I have a family that I created. Unity is the design for all humanity the hope of the creator. So today your life might not be all together, and your family too may be broken. You may have hurts and past hurts. You may have just experienced the biggest catastrophe in your life. 

Unity is coming. Hold on and keep fighting. This holiday isn’t just for African American people but for people who celebrate this melting pot of a country. The odds are in your favor. 2020 I believe will be a great year full of blessings and joy. With division and strife in our country, I believe that Umoja is coming.

Celebrate Umoja through gratitude, self-reflection, and loving the community of people that surround you. Celebrate Umoja by being yourself, being expressive, being accountable, and the leader of your community. Celebrate Umoja through thankfulness, being affirming and accepting. Umoja is made up of different faiths, different skin tones, different backgrounds, and LOVE! Celebrate Umoja with me! 

Unity is coming! 

Joyous Kwanzaa!