Tag Archives: father

Letter to a Mother

A Letter to a mother:

When I first met you, you were the woman of my dreams. No one was better and I was proud to be your daughter. I was proud to tell the world “this is my mom.” Now I see a woman who has given up, allowed herself to be defeated by choices, never forgiven others who hurt you or for the hurt you caused. You’ve developed a mental illness, that when I look into your eyes and to see your soul, I can’t get past the pain, I hope to see life, but I see an empty soul, in a body that is content with just existing. That’s not the woman who I knew from the beginning. Where is my mom at? You’re still there, I know there is still good and possibility but you live dying.

I’ll never forget the words “I don’t know how to love you, and you no longer have to call me mom.” It was a relief because I knew the truth but a bullet that pierced my heart and it hasn’t healed. I thought that if I lived a life of excellence, a life of hard working, diligent in my studies and dedicated to God; you might change? It was then I realized it’s not my job to change you. You have to be able to see that there is more that God has intended for your life, and this is not the end.

My 24th My birthday was a trying one, it hurt not being able to talk to the woman (who can’t love me), birth me and my sacred twin brother who has threatened to do harm to me. How does one reconcile and accept that the family you were birthed into, are the ones that will hurt you, allow you to be hurt, and threaten your very existence. However, God has taught me, blessed me, given me many mother figures, I have brothers and sisters, I’ve just met my biological father, and in yet there is a void. This void is one that I have come to accept, but tears stream down my eyes.

I wrote my brother an email and stated that it hurt for me to be a part from my twin. It hurt not being able to give a gift, hug, or kiss the very soul that I shared room with in the womb for 9 months. I had to change my telephone number and was told not to even give it to my grandmother or family because of the actions and words of hate, anger and envy from you two.

God knows my heart when I say that I want nothing more for yo, then to succeed. Find happiness, passion and live a life of purpose. Who wants to allow hate and strife to take up space in your heart or your mind. I know I won’t. It’s best for us to be a part. It’s when we’re are a part we’re the closet. When I don’t hear news about you is when I can rest at night. No news is good news. I have taken authority over my life, and as young adult I refuse to allow you to make me depressed, alter my state of mind, control me, make me feel unsafe, install fear and allow you to habitually hurt me. It’s a choice I’ve made based on history, words and actions you’ve declared.

So my message to my fellow readers is, to know that sometimes you have to step aside if it means it will be creating a better you. Sometimes you have cease communication not forever, but for the moment so that you will prosper. It’s not a negative self aspect to finally put yourself first. It’s not that you think you’re better then whomever it is, it’s just your path has taken a different course, and/or that season has ended. Not every relationship, job anything is meant forever. There is an end and how that happens is what creates curiosity in our creator.

Read this and know I don’t want sympathy but my goal is to encourage your hearts and to tell you, that it’s time to start living for yourself.

Domenia Dickey

There’s an App for THAT!

I attend church and my is Pastor Martha V. Green, she has a true heart for God. She preaches and teaches with love and conviction. She welcomes and encourages conviction accompanied with the love of Christ. I forgot to mention, she is 94 years old. She has a church of youth with a passion for God, we’ve been taught the word of God, and his love has pierced our hearts.

My mama Barnes
My mama Barnes

There is a woman of God, a teacher, mentor, writer, who has earned a Ph.D in three areas, lives and breathes for God. Before I met her, I didn’t know that I could be a Christian in a secular world. With three Doctorate degrees she stands true to her faith. After meeting her it was then I realized, that I have no excuses not to live out my purpose. I can make it.

She is now my mentor. I’m one blessed child of God!

My church was looking for a preacher for our youth event I believe, and I suggested Rev. Dr. Sheryl W. Barnes. She preached a sermon and started off her by saying “There’s an App for that” At first I chuckled and thought she was trying to be cool and relate to youth the best way she could.


That APP, is Jesus Christ. I’ve heard many sermons, but this particular sermon pierced my intellect and reached to my heart. No to mention our youth still speak about this spectacular sermon. She didn’t teach us anything new. She was sent to remind us, what we sometimes forget. Sometimes we allow our thoughts, circumstances, life demands, work and every everything under the sun to distract us , and distract from who lives at the core of who we are. Sometimes we forget the creator. Sometimes we forget the blessings we have received and miracles witnessed. Sometimes we get distracted because our world is busy. Nonetheless,  “THERE IS AN APP FOR THAT,” We serve a King above all Kings, President of all leaders, we have direct connection to Jesus Christ who sits besides God; who knows what happens before anything begins; Jesus is our App!

If I was you, I’d put it on computer, download the app to your iphone, andriod, kindle, nook, or computer. Review it in the morning, and any free time you get. Pray and know that Jesus will listen. Prayer is merely a conversation you would have with your best friend. God wants to bless you. God wants to show you mercy. God doesn’t want you to grieve, live with low-self esteem, crying nightly and feeling alone.

God wants your to download him into your day, and allow spiritual formation to happen. I’m lucky to personally Dr. Sheryl W. Barnes and she is able to speak into my life. We pray together and she shows tough Holy Spirit filled love.

I’m praying that for everyone who reads this blog finds a Dr.Barnes and a Pastor thirsty and after God’s own heart, like I have. Soak in everything they say because the breathe of life is just a vapor and what we do lasts on earth and determines our eternity.

In Jesus Mighty Name!