“Do you boo!”

What do you do when you don’t feel understood? When you open your voice to speak and nothing comes out. Who do you turn to, when all you get are voice mails? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you can’t recognize your own face? Some people expect you to just get “over” the actions of others, and move on. When it’s not that easy. Sometimes shit hurts and you need to cry, it doesn’t just go away-I mean it didn’t “just happen.” What do you say to yourself, when it seems like you can’t get right, and are the Hebrews running around that mountain, and all you need is a GPS? What do you say to yourself when all you want is a little direction, and instead you get criticism? What happens when it feels like a “prayer” isn’t enough?

What do you do?

If I say scream, there’s a chance you will be seen as odd. If I say cry, there is a chance you will be seen as depressed, and unstable. If I say walk away, then you’ll be observed as cold-hearted. If I say “do you” then you might just be perceived as an individual with an attitude.

What do you do?

Remember that one bible scripture that points out Jesus’s humanity, “Jesus wept.” Remember that within each deity, there was once humanity.

So, what do you do?

Cry! Scream! “Boo, do you!”

Others will always judge you. Not everyone will understand you. Pain is not something you just get over, it’s your journey, and don’t let it hinder you. Don’t let stigma define you, and don’t let trials and tribulations become you. Allow it to become a catalyst and not an end. Use your pain, hurt, fear and everything else as a way to motivate you; to motivate others. Never stop living, achieve your highest goals. If you fall 100 times, at least you got up!

So, what do you do?

LIVE!

 

 

Strength

When we hear the word “strong” it’s often associated with the idea of physical strength. I challenge you to think about emotional strength. Emotional strength comes from your inner being, at the core of who you are, there’s no other strength like it. I’ve survived rape, neglect, physical and emotional abuse; people ask how am I not bitter? How am I still functioning? How do I still smile. I reply “God.”

I will forever state that “we are spiritual beings having a humanistic experience.” Whether you would like to admit it, or not, you’re a spiritual being living the human experience. You inner being is what strengthens you when you want to give up and give into the negativity within this humanistic experience.

You can’t become physically strong without a continual work-out routine, commitment to a healthy diet and probably help from a physical trainer. It takes time, dedication, hard work, and desire. There’s no difference with emotional strength! We don’t choose the cards we are dealt in life, we can’t change the past, the hurt, abuse and misunderstandings. However, you have a choice!Will allow your circumstances to strengthen you emotionally, and spiritually or destroy you;sometimes it will require reaching out to others, but often it’ll require having faith in a high power, and knowing in your heart that, no matter what it looks like; you have what it takes to make it!

It’s not fair, the pain we have to go through living this human life. It hurts to cry and not have someone to hold onto you. It hurts when a love one dies, and you’ll never get to see them again. It hurts! It sucks! It’s what you do with the pain that makes the difference for your life and the lives of others.

Think of life as a gym membership, you’re signed up, and your intentions are to physically look the best and to be in a healthy shape and feel the best; so you work at it. You commit yourself to a work-out routine. You discipline yourself to eat healthy and then after a while you’ll start to see the change. That size 10 will become a size 8. 🙂

Allow your experiences to build you, make a commitment to yourself; believing irregardless of what comes, I (you) will make it. You’re a survivor! You’re a winner! You’re a conquer. You have to be there for yourself when, no one else is there. You have to believe that you have been given the tools to handle everything you will experience. Believe that whomever your high power/deity is, for me it’s “Jesus” has your best interest at heart and will not let you fall so far down, that you cannot be saved.

My strength comes from my commitment to my mental health, religious support, community support, friends and mainly myself. Things always work our the way they are meant to be, and I believe even if you don’t that there is a God who loves you, looking out for you and wants you to trust your inner strength.

You can do all things through Christ (whomever you diety or God is) that has given you STRENGTH!

Blessings,

Domenia L Dickey

I’m convinced: You’ll Make it

A Pastor preached tonight and said: I’m convinced, You’ll make it.

We are all going through something in our lives; keep on living (there’s an upside) We need to realized that seasons (life’s circumstances) will change. So my question to those who question God, and believe in God: What does it really mean to live? What does it really mean to live for/with God?

Blessings aren’t always materialistic. Sometimes just being able to walk is a blessing; there’s someone out there that can’t. In every struggle God is there and even if you doubt, can’t feel him; know he’s there. You still have to stand. Don’t give up on God and on Life. God’s never given up on you. Even when it feel like you’re alone, STAND! No one’s life is meant to be easy, every one is given a specific journey to take with the hope that they will give back to a life.

It’s when you’re in your darkest spot, you’ll find out how strong you really are. Trouble, trials, circumstances, can either make you, or break you. What we need to realize is that we at some point, we have a choice, to give up or keep trying, and know that we’ve given it our best. And, we’ll keep on trying. These road blocks, I believe are test of character, patience and will power.

So embrace the pain, in knowing that the greatest glory in life is when you rise every time. Dr. Angelou said it the best, “Like Dust, We Rise” Seasons we must go through just like a life has beginning and a life had an ending. In everything there’s a purpose, my brother and my sister: in everything there is a PURPOSE. You’re not in this alone, even when no one responds to your text messages or answers you phone calls. You’re not alone.

“Like Dust, You Rise!” You’re not the first to experience pain, not will you not be the last. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying minimize what you’re going through. I’m not! But someone, somewhere has been through the same thing, and survived- you will too! There will be feelings of abandonment, bitter words, silence, “You Rise” Even Jesus had disciples. Even Jesus was not alone. There is a God, Allah, Buddah (where ever you’re in your faith) that will and has encouraged you, and sent people to encourage you. Never allow negative people and experiences: take you out. You’re stronger than you know.

I’m convinced: You’ll Make it. Remember my brothers, and my sisters, black, white, gay, transgender, bi, str8, baptist, muslim no matter who you are, or your faith, I’m convinced when present with hard time, you’re presented with the opportunity to grow into and deeper to your person, and fulfill your purpose.

Your season of Change is coming, your season of pain is ending, and you have everything you already need to make it even if it doesn’t look like it. Trust me. I was going to kill myself tonight, and then I went to a church service and was reminded of my God, my strength and how I’ve come through so much. I can make it. Eventually, in your time of trouble you will have two options, 1. give up or 2. keep trying.

Will you have faith in yourself? Will you trust in an invisible God/deity? Will you trust that there is sometime bigger than you, who knows the future and plans for your life, and will never let you fall, and stay down. My boss told me this week, “Mia, I’ll give you the hours, don’t let me down.” In crutches, and in pain, I kept my word. Made it to my shift, took my brakes, made drinks, took orders and conquered today. So to Jenn (boss), ” I know, you had know idea of how hard it is for me to work with my pain, to stand for hours, and just to smile when I want to cry, and give up on life permanently. But I’m a woman of my word. Just like my God, who is a God of his word. I came to work, for the business, to prove to you that I could do it, and to encourage myself”

I’m convinced: Together, You and I will make it. Just like I’m making it!

Like Dust, I Rise

Last night I had written my final wishes, and will; saying my good-bye, having my last words be “I’ve tried.” I always talked about killing myself, and I’ve had attempts. After being assaulted, and getting hit by a car, I felt so alone. My aunt and Dad said that sometimes we have to go through things physically alone but God is always there. Last night, I called my aunt to pray with me, the final prayer I would ever hear, because tonight 9/16/2015 I was going to kill myself, and not reach out to anyone. I didn’t want it to be seen as a cry for attention, and I didn’t want to burden anyone else. I was also told that if you are really going to kill yourself, you don’t talk about it; you just do it. That was my plan.

On crutches I’ve been going to work, and by God’s grace getting home. I heard that there was church, and my pastor was going to be there. I knew in my heart, that I needed to go. I knew in my heart that if I never have another friend, if I limp and take the bus for the rest of my life that God would still be there. I knew it, but I needed to hear it. I needed to see familiar faces of  from the one who poured into my heart and my soul. I also knew I needed to hear from God.

I had forgotten at how much I’ve survived, and the wonderful people whom have blessed my life. I had forgotten about those who answered their phone nightly and prayed with me. I forgot about how much support I really have. I forgot how strong I really am. I forgot about God, and his importance in my life. I wanted to give up, allowing life, to take me out. A woman I look up to: Min. Barnes said “I’m a warrior” and then she said “even warriors need rest.” I realized, my rest is in a God that you cannot see, sometimes can’t hear, or, understand. But I had to take rest in remembering what in knowing my life will get better; I will succeed, and my dreams, goals,  to reach out to youth in foster care will happen

I will not take my own life. That’s not how my story is going to end. I make that choice. Yes, I’ll get depressed. Yes, I’ll get manic. Yes, I might have hallucinations. I will have struggles, and face hard times. Everyone will, more than once; but as Maya Angelou said, “Like Dust, I RISE.”  I have no idea what tomorrow will look like. I have no idea where I’ll be next month, but I know I’ll be alive! Because giving up is a choice, I fought to hard to make it to where I am. I’m not ready to say good-bye.

Today 9/16/2015 I choose life.

Pastor Paula White says “do not cure your crisis-use it; for it’s in times of the crisis that your courage, faith, and strength, lets you live an undefeated life.

I’d like to add: it’s time of crisis that you are being molded into the person God has mean’t for you to be. It’s building you, and not destroying you.

Choose life with me, and lets make it together.