I was just hospitalized for an illness that’s invisible, and can only be felt. This illness has cost me hours for work, so I have to go two weeks, with very little food and continue to struggle. It’s sucks but this is the hand I’ve been dealt. For some it’s Cancer, and for me, it’s Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. I pray for stability. I pray for change. I pray for acceptance. I pray for achievement and personal growth. My illness makes me unreliable for work, for I never know when I have to call out. As my supervisor said, “it’s a business” and immediately I felt small and replaceable.
Everyday, I’m learning how to conquer this “disease.” Not just to make my life better, so I can be more effective at work, school and with my family. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible. I remember reading something on Facebook, that took the word “impossible” and saw the words “I’m-Possible.”
I’m possible! I believe in a God who gives me strength and has allowed me to know that I am not alone, and the he understands my struggle. I stick true to the statement, “we are spiritual beings having an humanistic experience.” I am a spirit and experiencing HUMANITY. We’re all given a plate of food we don’t always like. We’re are given a journey and we ask ourselves “how did I get here?” “What did I do to deserve this?” Yet we continue everyday,and I just remember it’s not personal it’s just “business.” Someone has to run it, and work for it. You can allow it to make you or break you.
I’ll allow it to make me. I refuse to be defeated and give up the fight. I refuse to be a nobody, and live with excuses. It’s not apart of my DNA. I know there is God looking out for me, and that “this too shall pass”