Happy New Years

What an incredible birthday. I’ve learned that blood is not thicker than water, in fact, it can be just as thin. In my life water has been more has provided more nourishment and blood has needed many transfusions. This was my first birthday away from my twin and I am sure it will not be my last. Being away was the vacation I needed. My biological mom decided to make it about her but a little angel (5 years old) made sure I had fun. It’s sad that these moments are not shared with my bio. family (not all are bad) but my happiness comes first. I can no longer allow their beliefs, laws and actions dictate how I will live my life.

This is what happiness means to me: flying as an eagle whether that means living far away, traveling, attending different college, changing my beliefs, dating women or men, attending a secular or christian church, drinking on the weekends, having coffee at night, dressing as a lady or more masculine (portraying a gender that I feel connected to at that moment), studying psychology and law. I am my own person separate and set apart to live a glorious life.

To my dear twin brother, I feel as though this is where we can part, for this is who I am: I am a women with a mood disorder and anxiety disorder (to my family as well) I take medication to live a healthy and happy life, I am an introvert and I prefer to be alone, I get grumpy at night, I enjoy hikes (the outdoors), I want to sky dive, I am a student with a traveling spirit, understand that yes, I am moving to Florida and one day California, and, the Europe and Africa. To my brother and biological mother it’s not to late to have a relationship but on my terms or your settings; you’ve had your chance and you’ve hurt me and I will not allow it anymore. I will not allow you to swear at me. I can and if I have to I will live without you. You will treat me as a human being.

I am a child of God. Even my twin, the brother that I shared space with while in the womb will not stop me from living an abundant life. To my biological mother life is more painful with you. So sorry to say such a hurtful thing, but, it’s the truth of my heart. This is my new year, my beginning and I am making a life of my own; embarking on a new adventure, new relationships and a future.

 

– Domenia L. Dickey

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